Flaunting V's Secret

Setting: A side parking lot of a high school.  October.  Overcast and rainy.

Day One: I hurriedly parked my car and hustled towards the door of the building. As I walked past one of the closer parking spots a flash of purple and white caught my eye. A pair of undies lay between the curb and the tire of the car. "Won't that girl be embarrassed when she leaves school and sees that her underwear fell out of her bag this morning," I thought.

Day Two:  The rain came down hard as I made a mad dash to my car. The soggy undies looked forlorn, sitting in the same spot I had seen them yesterday and this morning. "Really! Someone left a good pair of underwear in the parking lot because they were too embarrassed to pick them up in case someone saw."

Day Three:  It was spitting rain as I drove home, I realized I had a pair of the same underwear. They were Victoria's Secret. Really comfy. Some girl must have a nice mom at home to buy her expensive panties. But those couldn't be mine. A: I don't know how they would have ended up in the school parking lot. B: I'm pretty sure I wore them the other day and they were in the dirty laundry waiting to be washed.

Day Four: Rain. Again.  I parked in the spot with the undies. They lay there, sodden and melancholy. The once pristine white, now gray, the purple bows limp.  Near the hem on the side was a hole, made from someone who had gained some weight since purchasing those panties.  "OH CRAP! Those are my undies!"  There were students walking into the building so I quickly walked by my undies, pretending not to notice them.   During my first period prep, I ran outside, knelt down, and quickly threw the panties on the floor of my car. I checked twice to make sure no one could see them if they walked by my car.

Turns out on Monday, Come as You Are Day (or Pajama Day), when I had grabbed my clean bathrobe out of the dryer, the offensive underwear had hitched a ride. They must of fallen off or out of the bundled-up bathrobe when I got out of my car.  Boy, did I feel dumb.

I didn't tell anyone that story for a long time.  In fact, I finally broke down and told my husband in February. He hasn't laughed that hard at my expense in a long time.  So laugh away dear blog reader, laugh away!